Boulder Peak: From the sidelines

So yesterday I got my first DNF (Boulder Peak), although I'm not sure that not even starting a race counts for a DNF.    I ended up volunteering to do body-marking in the morning, and spent the rest of the time watching my friend compete.  I left the race feeling awed, humbled, disappointed, and depressed all at the same time.

First, let me say that I have absolutely no patience for watching sports whatsoever.  I've always felt that the time spent watching sports could be better used playing a sport.  So it was amazing to finally see how the pros and elite compete in these things.  I'm pretty sure if I tried to transition as quickly as they did I would knock over the entire bike rack and injure myself. 

It was also humbling to see all of the athletes out there, and know that all of these people have trained hard and were out there to do the best they could. Usually I'm too absorbed in calming my "I'm going to drown!  Please don't drown!" thoughts to really pay attention to the people around me.  Yesterday there were clydesdales, 70 year old men and women, 15 year old kids, and I even marked some woman who had just won her last battle with breast cancer.

But as the race wore on, I started to feel the disappointment I thought I had overcome when I first decided not to participate in this race.  I couldn't help but imagine how I would be feeling on the bike (brutal course; I loved it!) and where I would be in the race.  It came most strongly when my friend finished; and I knew the glow of elation and accomplishment she was feeling that I was lacking.  I still cheered her on, but did sort of guiltily feel like a bad friend for feeling this way.

And finally, I left the race feeling depressed.  I finally have a physical therapy appointment, and I'm terrified that she'll say I can't do the 70.3 either.  So I tried to make myself feel better by going to The Bent Gate and purchasing my first pair of Italian leather shoes.  Granted, they're climbing shoes, but hey, they still count, right?